Hate is a strong word…

...but when you’re pumping in injectible hormones, “not overly fond of” becomes “hatred”. The blood wench at the clinic has an aura of negativity around her. I can count the number of times she has voluntarily started a conversation, and it usually leads to a comment about how she hates her job. Really? Never would have guessed. Today was no exception…when I told her that I would be at work between 8 and 4 to receive a phone call, she said, “hmmm, must be nice.” You know what’s not nice? My never-ending state of infertility, doom and depression. I win.

Today is Day 13 and we are likely heading towards an IUI, so on Sunday when I chatted with the doc, I asked him if we could possibly avoid buying another $500 cartridge of Gonal(bar)F and use the “overfill” from the pens, even if it didn’t reach 450ius. He said “sure sure.” HE understands, why can’t blood wench? She said “you need GonalF for tonight” slapping through the pages of my chart, no eye contact. I thought to myself, here she goes again, talking out of her angry, over-confident (not to mention large) ass. I, personally, think tonight might be trigger night, therefore no GonalF would be required. And perhaps if I have to go another night the doctor will say “just use the overfill”. So I said to her, sweetly “it would be nice if I could avoid buying another $500 dosage. That stuff is so expensive and we’re probably not doing an IVF anyway.” Her response: “It is what it is.”
Why is she such a douche-bag? What’s wrong with saying “yeah, I hear that…the stuff is expensive. We’ll see what the doctor says.” I cannot get passed how she one-ups me every single time – it’s like we’re in a competition but I didn’t get the memo! I did not speak a word after that comment – not even a thank you and I pride myself on always being polite. I got up and walked out of the room…walked into the busy waiting room where all eyes were on me…and said “CLEARLY I’m not in a very good mood today” and plunked myself down in a huff.

So here I am, at my work, between the hours of 8-4 (kiss this), waiting for the call that will FINALLY determine the outcome of this IVF#5.