Tuesday, January 31, 2012

This Story has a Happy Ending, and Here it is.

The twins are days from 4 months old and every day they become more beautiful, more individual, and more WORK! They are the loves of my life and I treasure every minute, every smile, every milestone, as little as the milestones may be. I've never been happier to wake in the middle of the night or clean poop. I am now a mother and nothing feels more important.

This blog is a log of the past 6 years, and the struggle and sacrifice I made to bring them into this word. I call them my "two in a billion" babies, because their story is so completely unique. I suppose everyone's babies are one in a million, but I feel especially strong that these babies took going to the ends of the earth for. And it was so worth it. But we're going to close this chapter, simply because this story was about having a family, and now we have one. Maybe we'll start a new blog, a happier, more upbeat blog of first tastes and steps and words. Maybe we'll get a video of them talkng to each other and it will go viral. Who knows, but this blog will now be turned into a book and kept on a shelf for much much later...when the twins are about to start their own families. And it might only be then that they fully understand just how special they are. Until then I expect what I fear most, to one day hear, "you're not my real mother!" Oh it's par for the course, don't worry, we'll weather that storm! Until then we'll enjoy all the joys and tears, frustration and tantrums, messes and spills, and everything else raising twins will bring.

If and when I start a new blog, you'll be the first to know. Until then, thanks for being such great support during the hardest, yet best years of my life. I wouldn't trade the outcome for the world.

Friday, December 16, 2011

10 Weeks

Once again I'm late with my homework, but I'm sure you will forgive me. Elliot and Alex are so completely gorgeous and doing wonderfully at 10 weeks today! We survived! I remember people saying, "just get to 6 weeks"...but wait...we are well passed that and life is still as busy! I will admit there is a lot more sleep for me at night. I never did "nap when the babies nap!" despite all the advice to do so, but they are lasting through the night longer and longer all the time. Last night was a success...Ellie (my great little sleeper) settled by 10, Alex by 11...slept though to 3am, then quick feed and down again until 6, then down again until 8:30. Maybe this isn't great compared to some other experiences, but it's manageable for me right now and with twins seems like a small victory. It used to be 9, midnight, 3, 6, etc. and the feeding times were loooong...so we are definitely making progress. I am trying to get them to sail through the 3 hour mark during the day because I think it is nothing more than an internal clock at this point and nothing to do with being starving!!!... as their screams would suggest.

I look at them and try to see what they may look like later on...as 1 year olds with chubby arms and legs, big round bellies. What color will their eyes settle on, and will their hair be curly or straight, dark or fair... it's so exciting to watch them grow before your very eyes, fatten up, start to smile. Yesterday Ellie smiled long and hard, and it was the best thing I've ever seen. She's so delightful, and Alex just melts my heart every time I look at his perfect little face....when he doesn't scratch it to bleed that is. The little pooper gets so upset when his needs are not immediately met, and the hands go up to the face. He's been wearing socks on his hands for as long as I can remember because his nails are like little knives. Yes we bite them, file them, clip them, but it's one of those things you dread right? So it gets avoided more than it gets done. My bad.

Well, Alex is currently getting fussy on his activity mat, and Ellie (I can see on the monitor) is stirring upstairs in her crib, so duty calls! Here is a shot of a photoshoot I did of the twins for Xmas...although they are much older now (lol) - time flies when you grow in "weeks"!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Diary of a New Mother...at 4am (aka The Witching Hour)

It's 4:20 am and my husband has not yet come up to the bedroom to tap me it's my turn. I better get up anyway and see what's happening at baby headquarters. I'm surprised to hear nothing as I sneak down to the basement. Husband's eyes are half open watching some terrible action movie, while two babies sleep soundly. He mumbles something about them just being fed. I feel a tiny surge of excitement that all may be calm as I shoo husband upstairs and quickly get settled on the couch, ready to put my head down and continue sleeping. Could this really be happening? Could I be so lucky?

It's now 4:25 and #2 stirs. I open one eye, but I don't move, I don't breath. I say a little "god please" prayer in my head as I lay in wait. I hear "eh. eh. eh." I continue to be still...not making a sound. The struggle continues, but there is nothing too alarming...nothing that warrants lifting my head off the pillow. I close my eye and feel myself falling softly into a deep sleep.

It's 4:26. The house must be on fire because there is an alarming scream coming from the basinet. I bolt off the couch which makes my head hurt. I approach the basinet and first try Binky, but this just makes #2 madder. In an effort to make amends, I pick him up. Silence. Hm... Annoying. We rock for a few minutes, his eyes fighting to stay open, but he is weak. He is 2 weeks old. I win, smile, and carefully and fluidly place him back in the bassinet. I quickly walk away with a smirk on my face - pat on back for being Mother of the Year. I quickly situate myself on the couch, ready for a few more hours of much needed sleep.

It's now 4:32. It's not like there's anything but liquid poo in there...what on EARTH is he trying to squeeze out with such vigor? A watermelon? I wait patiently for the fruit to pass, but the pushing and squeezing and grunting is getting louder and his frustration growing. One quick screech I'm sure dogs throughout the neighborhood hear, and I get up. I pick up, sooth and bounce again. Silence. Again, annoying. Mummy needs her sleep too. Why does the pushing, squeezing and grunting become silenced when I am there? We have a cuddle on the couch, a sure thing to calm him down, but not this time and the grunting turns into full on crying. We're now up again...walking and pacing, soothing and stroking. Calm... Calm... zzzzzz He's out. Wait...don't push your luck. Keep walking for a few more minutes. Still calm. Attempt to put down in one inch/sec increments. Success! Race back to couch, jump in and throw blanket over body in one quick motion.

It's 4:45 and the grunting begins. Maybe he hates being swaddled!?? Maybe grunting isn't about pushing a watermelon, but about freeing arms. Yes! That must be it! Jump up and help free arms from swaddle... aaaah, bingo! Silence... calm.

It's 4:46 and apparently freeing limbs is not the issue. I get up much more slowly, feeling more and more resigned, grunting as I stand. I approach #2. Sigh. Pick him up and sooth... hear a big fart and realize that nappy might be wet. I do a diaper change and as suspected it's squash soup down there. Figure this has to be the reason for such fussiness...I mean who wants to sit in their own sh*t? Feel patience and mother earth-ness slipping away...shake it off and return to soft calming mummy. I fly upstairs to get his new sleep sack. It's time to try it because swaddling might be frustrating. He's dry, he's comfy cozy...I try a change of venue and place him into his bouncy chair which is the equivalent of a huge fuzzy papasan. THAT goes down like a lead balloon. Up we get. We go upstairs together where I prepare a bottle from frozen with one hand. It's warm, it's nutritious, it's delicious, but he's not interested. He screams. Again, we pace...back and forth...back and forth. All is once again calm.

It's now 5:15 and he's dead asleep in my arms. I cannot feel my hands, and my neck muscles are completely fried. I hear a quick high pitched squeak from basinet #1 and I whisper snap, "don't you even THINK about it!" She goes back to sleep. I am grateful. I turn my attention back to #2 and ever so carefully lie him down in his basinet. The transfer appears to be a success. I veeeery sloooooowly tip toooooooe awaaaaay...throw myself back onto the couch, curl up and pray.

It's now 6am and after repeating steps 1 through 6, I decide to give in and just get up. I prop #2 up in the boppy pillow, turn on the TV, brew a pot of coffee, I have some cereal.

I come downstairs and what do I find? This.

And as long as it's taken me to write this post...he hasn't stirred an inch.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Breast Milk Debate

NO! I'm not inviting one...merely giving my opinion on a topic that came to light the other day. Nickole, like any of us who seek info/support/advice for whatever we happen to be going through at the time, joined an online forum for surrogates -- and as one does, became quite good friends with some of them as they went through the surrogacy journey together. Well she got into a "message fight". She mentioned she was pumping for the twins and someone asked her how much she was charging for it and went on to say that SHE charges $1.25 per ounce. WOWZA. That is ALOTTA money...and I am no stranger to forking out ALLOTTA money, but that seems a pretty steep premium. And from a IP perspective it feels a little more ouch because WE would LOOOVE to be breast feeding our babies...for the amazing health benefits, but also for the bonding experience. And I guess what it comes down to for ME, is that despite those great benefits, we could not afford to pay that kind of premium for breast milk. With the amount that Nickole is pumping for us, at that rate, it would cost us $40/day. Formula costs $4/day, and that's the convenient (read more expensive) stuff. I know breast milk is the best, no question, but formulas are amazing these days. Bottom line it would most definitely force us to have to choose formula over breast milk and I guess it just feels a little like, "if you want it, you're gonna have to pay for it." Or, ok charge a little less for god's sake!! It's extortionate! $1,200 a month, in our case.

I don't know - maybe my perspective is completely off the norm...after all everyone in the world seemed shocked that we had not had a single problem, and I think it came down to the fact that we respected each other and became friends. We did not nickel and dime Nickole and she was never greedy. She accepted everything graciously, but no matter what we did for her, her gift to us was worth much much more. We had a running joke where she would say, "thanks for lunch!" and I would follow that with, "thanks for having our babies!" lol

Back to Nickole and the forum. The fight ensued and someone said she was "stupid" for not charging. I can just see them (as with all forums) sitting behind their keyboards having fun attempting to bring her down a notch. They probably don't like her because our arrangement was rosy. I think I know a few things about Nickole now... most of them fall in the above and beyond the call of duty category, but one other thing I know about Nickole is that you WILL NOT take advantage of her. I dare you to try it and you just see what happens.

The "woman" said she charged $1.25 per oz. and Nickole argued that if it were not for the baby she had given birth to she would not even have it so charging any amount was stupid and ..."wow the pumping for 15 minutes every 4 hours must kill you." The surrogates then ganged up on her and said she was stupid for not charging and so she told them all what she thought of them and left the board.

I feel badly that she was attacked on the boards - we've all been there and it's definitely no fun - especially when people suggest we are being taken for a ride... Regardless of anyone's opinion, or their arrangement, or what's in contracts, or what the "going thing" is, Nickole OFFERED to pump for the twins she cared for for 9 months. She knows the benefits of breast milk and wants our babies to take hers. Yes, she's a saint for doing this. Full stop. She is awesome and those girls are assholes for saying anything other than, "wow, you are doing that for those people? You truly are exactly what a surrogate mother should be."

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Introducing Elliot and Alexander!

Our little Princess Elliot Rose

And our little man Alexander James

Moments after the C-Sec

The twins are finally home and OMG are they adorable or WHAT! I just cannot believe how perfect and gorgeous their little bodies are, and more than that, I can't even begin to understand how someone can love another being so instantly and completely, right from the moment they come into your life. I know a lot of people have said they didn't get that instant love connection thing, but I think that had everything to do with the plummeting "happy" hormone that goes along with pregnancy, and also healing their own body in the process, feeling the pain of labor, or healing from a C-sec. I had to go to great lengths not to have any of those things to deal with!!! so we'll call it one of the upsides to surrogacy.

We arrived at the hospital for our "scheduled" C-sec for 9am... but were quickly informed we were delayed due to the unexpected high volume of women who came in throughout the night. We were taken to a very large birthing room, and Nickole, Jon, Chris and I got comfy in some fancy hospital recliners. Jon and Chris chatted about driving over Zombies and something about angry birds, while Nickole and I chatted about aches and kicks and the excitement of it all. The nurses were amazing, and assured Nickole that the doctor performing the C (Dr. Corby) was an excellent doc (female) and not to worry at all she would be well taken care of.

At about 11:15 they started an IV on Nickole, which WASN'T fun, but they got it the 2nd time around - what is it about getting an IV that is so horribly awful and never a success on the first attempt? The nurse didn't make a connection with a vein, although she thought she may have, so the saline started dripping, but it shattered the vein and Nickole's arm started to swell up and BURN. Not at all fun for Nickole. But we finally managed to get a good one in and she got taken away to be prepped for surgery. A few minutes later they brought me in, only to find a jam packed delivery room, and a very upset Nickole who after having the injection into her spine, took one whiff of the oxygen and threw up. She was NOT happy, but I think seeing me there put her at ease a little. I held her hand as they announced Baby A - it's a girl!... and then I promptly burst into tears (obviously). Nickole looked at me so happy to give this gift...she is truly an amazing person. Then as I was bawling over the birth of my baby girl, Nickole squeezed my hand and said, "hey! Baby B is coming!" and then they announced Baby is a Boy!! It all happened so fast but I try to go back to that 15 minutes and relive it in my head... it chokes me up every time. Nickole knew all along what the babies were going to be and knew we would be so happy with that. I'm sure she was relieved that the long-held secret was finally out! She said it was no easy feat keeping it all mum for 6 months!

The swarm of nurses then ensued as they did all of their preliminary testing and probing. The babies were so good and responsive... they did not need to be taken to NICU because they were PERFECT. They still are.

We then were all taken to a large room so that we could all sit and marvel at what we'd accomplished. We were happy to be there with Nickole and Jon - I could not have imagined sending Nickole off after all she had done for us. I think it also helped ease the transition of her letting go of the babies, which cannot be easy, even for Nickole who said she'd be a-ok. She got to hold them both and finally say hello to the little ones she'd held so safe and sound in her body for so long. Honestly, I want everyone to know just how wonderful that woman is...and her supportive husband. They are truly amazing people with hearts of gold. When I think about what she sacrificed (her body, her time, her family's time, her life) to be able to give us... I just can't wrap my head around exactly WHAT kind of person it takes to do that. She is so awesome and our time together could not have gone better. There is not one thing to complain about...and apparently that is a RARE thing in the world of surrogacy. Add to that she has 10 bags of frozen breast milk just waiting for us. I know right?!!!

We then were separated so that Nickole could heal her body and see her kids, and we could have some alone time with our new family. We spent 2 nights in the hospital getting to know our little ones, and learning so much from the nurses who were absolutely fantastic. They were not worried about us though... said we were doing amazingly well. Funny how that thing kicks in and you just go to it.

So there you go - one amazing birth story.

We are completely and utterly head over heals in love.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

It's all been about this moment...

It's Friday night, October 6th, and our babies will be born tomorrow. How nuts is that??? This whole crazy blog, if you've been reading, has been about the struggle to have a family, whatever way possible, and here we are (albeit still in denial) about to be parents. Us! Parents!! The word of the year is "craaaazy."

I can't believe the overwhelming excitement from all of our friends and family - you are all truly amazing people. Someone said to me today, "what does it feel like to know that people all over Canada, the US and Europe are cheering for you?" I mean WOW! Yeah...it feels absolutely amazing! It truly does...and I don't think I can adequately thank you for just how much you've cared, and how kind your emails and posts have been. You never gave up on us, you never got tired of hearing the broken record.

And without my little world of support would we be here? I know without a doubt that I had a goal and I wasn't going to stop until I had a baby...but I can't deny there were dark times when the hope was fading rapidly... and that's when you would swoop in and not take no for an answer.

How do I feel right now? Physically...well unfortunately I'm PMSing which doesn't help the emotional roller coaster I'm on. I slept terribly last night because I either have a bad cold, or terrible allergies. I have that awful exhausted run down feeling and today I felt like I hit a brick wall. I got the shivers and had to wrap myself in a blanket and lie down. lololol!! This is NOT how I want to feel on the eve of never sleeping again (which I believe every.single.person has said). I was going to write "what every.single.person has "joked about"", but I don't think anyone is really joking about it, despite the laughs that go with that statement! I think it's more of a "oh just you wait little miss do whatever you want, cook all day with a glass of wine and sleep until 10" laugh.

Emotionally...it is still (the other word of the year) "surreal" that we are collecting two babies tomorrow. 9am Nickole will have a C-section and we will welcome our babies into the world. I'm excited, and nervous, and scared. But beyond everything, I just want to get to the holding our babies part. The part where they place them in your arms and it hits you in the back of your throat...

We have waited so long for these babies to come into our lives, and now here they are.

I just can't wait to bring you home.

Saturday, September 24, 2011


So today is 35 weeks and 3 days and we are all on pins and needles. Nickole has been back to the Labor Assessment Unit for extreme pain in her back. Having not experienced twins before I think she's nervous as to what's what - what level of pain means what? It's hard because she is having contractions, she is dilated, but the doc's keep sending her home. I feel so so much for her, this cannot be easy...and although she knew twins was a big possibility, I don't think she (or I) anticipated how debilitating it would be near the end. She's so close, but each day is so much pain. I only hope she can find some relief and take it one day at a time... It's hard as well because I'm torn between the woman who is here, and the babies who are coming... I have a lot of admiration for Nickole -she's not just a surrogate, we CARE about her...her health & her family. We also want our babies cooking as long as possible!

Today we put the finishing touches on the babies' room. God...we have been so fortunate and have been showered with gifts from so many loving friends and family... I feel like so many people helped to create that space... these babies are already so loved...they are so special.

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Babies are Coming...Very Very Soon!

Here we are at 34 weeks and 4 days! We had a quick visit to the hospital today because Nickole's contractions had gone from every 20 minutes to every 5 minutes...but despite the contractions (which were measuring about every 8 minutes at the hospital) she was sent home because she is not dilated. We had a bit of an odd doctor who we are convinced couldn't see the monitor and it's readings because her surgery hat was so low it was basically covering her eyes. Yes, odd. But anyway, we were sent home for today and tomorrow we'll go back for our routine ultrasound and visit with Dr. Smith who Nickole will be relieved to see.

We're not certain, but we think the babies are probably still breach, and I've learned that if they haven't flipped by this time, then they probably won't...so we're likely looking at a C-sec at 36 weeks, if Nickole gets to 36 weeks (god bless her wee bum).

So that's the update! Still don't know what the little jam eaters are and a friend of mine called me today in a frenzy because SHE REALIZED THAT SHE JUST CANNOT STAND IT ANY LONGER AND CAN'T BELIEVE WE STILL DO NOT KNOW WHAT THESE BABIES ARE. I am also in shock that I don't know what they will be, but oooh it makes it so much more fun!


Friday, September 2, 2011

32 Weeks and Counting! Official Update

Uh…yes, hello? Is it ok if I come in? Sorry I’m late. Oh, uuuh…you look a little… irritated…tapping your foot like that, but I got held up with a lot of stuff…some emotional stuff too.

It’s been a busy busy summer, and even though I thought fall would never come, it arrived in a flash because we have not stopped for months. Since the beginning of April we have been preparing for twins,, but not just the kind where you put two cribs together, we have been demo-ing the house and rebuilding it. The basement was gutted to the bones, and rebuilt into a cozy basement with entertainment center, plush carpet and open space. A brand new bathroom was also created with gorgeous tiled shower and space for washer/dryer. God do we love that new space. On the heels of completing that work, we put in new carpet upstairs on the top floor - the bedroom floor. One would think it’s no big deal and that they can install carpet in a few hours, but it’s the preparation before and after that’s exhausting. Everything had to be off the floor, off the walls, doors removed, closets emptied to 4 feet high. Everything was piled up downstairs in our livingroom…and stayed there for weeks making me feel like I could be on an episode of “Hoarders: Buried Alive”. I could have put it all back together fairly easily, but it was a great opportunity to start from scratch and put only what we wanted back upstairs. Plus we were creating a new room upstairs – a twin nursery. Once I have the room more or less done (although no doubt finally knowing the genders will influence the final look/colors of the room) I will take a few pictures.

I think I may have had a bit of depression over the summer. Part of me thinks the reno’s kept me busy, but part of me thinks it might have been better for me to have had this time to grieve the end of a 6 year battle with IF. Yes, we fought hard. Yes, we overcame. Yes, we are about to finally have the family we have always dreamed of … but it all came with a price. I didn’t get pregnant ever. We spent thousands and thousands of dollars on failed treatments. I never carried a child. I won’t have a child who shares my genetics. Despite spending 5 months preparing for adoption, we never ever received a phone call…which hurt me tremendously. All of these emotions that have been slowly simmering over the years I have had to put out of mind to focus on what’s next. Every time something failed, I would pick my chin up and move forward. There wasn’t any time to pout or process…we needed to keep moving forward, and this helped by giving me something to focus on, other than failure. But once we finally succeeded, I was not filled with elation. There were a lot of sad feelings there… I’m sure the people closest to me thought I was nuts – that this should be the happiest time of my life! What’s wrong with you?!! I didn’t feel that way at times…I wanted to cry when people talked excitedly about it. And I understand people’s excitement – we have had so many people cheering us on for so many years it could only have been expected that our entire world would be cheering and jumping up and down for us. But I couldn’t expect people to understand that despite this incredible joy, six years of fight fight fight was brought to an end …and with that came an overwhelming flooding of emotions and sadness I could no longer ignore...or hide.

I’m feeling good though… I feel like I’ve worked through it on my own, although I probably could have used professional assistance!!! But walking by the babies’ room and inhaling that baby detergent smell on their fresh clean sheets has me melting at the thought of two little babies, MY babies, coming home to their beds. I am so excited to meet these little ones that I have worked so hard on bringing into this world. I am so proud of what we have created for ourselves and our families. I am an IF survivor.

Nickole has been the best surrogate a couple like us could possibly ask for. There is not a shred of doubt in my mind that she wasn’t the perfect person for this role. Not only has she given us the greatest gift of all, she has also given us peace of mind that these babies have been given the healthiest possible start to their lives. Nickole is the picture of health and has handled this pregnancy like a champ, even though I know the days are rough for her, and the nights rougher. She has been having trouble sleeping. Amac likes to party in her ribs at night and Bmac likes to torture her with what feels like “Indian Rug Burn”. She has been sleeping on the couch, propped up – that is what she finds most comfortable to get a few quick zzzzz’s. It can’t help that 4 year old, M thinks it’s morning and time to play…at 4:30am.

The babies (at 31 weeks give or take a day) were measuring an impressive 3.5 lb’s each and the hope is that for the next 6 weeks they will grow .5 lb per week, resulting in a birth weight of 6.5 lb’s. That would be absolutely fantastic…and I keep everything crossed that the babies and Nickole can make it to 38 weeks. I believe the doc mentioned that he would not take Nickole beyond 38 weeks as there is no benefit at that point, only risk.

Ok so there is your official update! Thank you so much to those of you who have been “prodding” me for an update. I appreciate your curiosity and concern and feel so loved when I get a reminder update. Promise to post more as we hope to be finished everything this weekend and can just relax and rest up before the chaos hits! I can’t wait!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

I hate to reply on top of the last post...

But I must explain myself. First of all, how adorable is Nickole! I mean you cannot get more gorgeous than that, and no wonder she gets compliments all the time. Not only is she cute as a church mouse, but she is doing this incredibly amazing thing and one can't deny it must be a wonderful feeling to tell people what she is doing for a couple who simply had no other way. I adore the pants off of her (even though I think she might have outgrown most of her pants). Chris and I stared at her picture for a long time...going "wow - she's carrying our little babies! Look!! They are right in there!!" I said, they are coming from there (point to belly on screen) to US (point to both of us). He said jokingly, "they are coming to YOU." He does this all the time, pretends that he's just along for the ride, but I know he will make the most AMAZING father...I have always known this, and he will embrace it just as much as I will... he is just toying with me. Lol it is funny to hear him act all calm and confident like "piece of cake" when I know he is quietly dealing with the on-set of his new reality. Nothing like jumping right in which is no doubt his approach.

The reason for my (no excuses) absence, is "Renovation Heaven" read Renovation Hell. It is finally coming together though and I can almost taste the end. By next weekend I think we'll be relaxing on the new sectional. This will become Chris's permanent man cave and no doubt I will not see him in the bed for a couple of months. Let's call it a long cool slumber before the chaos hits.

So today we are 25 weeks on the nose...according to my handy dandy ticker, and in two weeks we'll be joining Nickole for another u/s. By the way, SHE KNOWS! She knows the sexes of the babies because she's been there done that and caught a few tell tale glimpses of the u/s. All I see, other than beautiful heads and spines and toes, is blobs, and I have no idea what means what... but this is a "perk" of being a surrogate and she can bask in the glow of knowing...

We're so grateful to have met our Nickole.

Tales from the Nesting Place - Chapter 5

Hello All Again,

I know it has been just over a month from the last blog post.... and Lisa has been up to her eyeballs in renovation heaven LOL.

So it is now t minus 105 days til due date, and 84 days til full term. The belly is still rocking - babies are very active and a new development is the 2:30AM party that I am so not destined to sleep through. I guess that is a good thing because it seems that my bladder is not on the VIP list and gets the boot. Not sure how the hubby would like it if I could sleep through that...I may find it a little funny but I'm sure it would be a short lived ha ha.

Here is a photo of what I look like today (July 13th).

I am having a great summer so far, however I am discovering that carrying twins is sooooo much different that just one. I know I am only 25 weeks but I am the size of someone who should be giving birth SOON lol so I guess it is to be expected that I feel kinda heavy.

On the up side, I am getting lots of people complimenting me on how good I look. (Always fun)

Thank you all for the blog comments.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Thanks S and Dmac!

So the story of the cribs continues... I had an opportunity to purchase 2 gorgeous Pottery Barn cribs that were on sale, but I guess they sold out lickidy split because when I went ahead to purchase, they were no longer listed. I worried that we would not find the right cribs, for the right price, in time for the babies.

Chris's mom, Sharon, happened to be passing by a "gently used" baby store, and came across 2 perfect, barely used bassinets that were going for a bargain, so she bought them for us! They are super cute, and in mint condition.

Who doesn't love Nickole's post below? I love talking to her and hearing all the updates. I'm glad the babies are safe and sound in her belly, but I can't deny I wish I could feel all that she feels. Such is life! She has really popped (even more so!) since our ultrasound last week. The babies are doing great - measuring on target and at the same rate. I'm convinced B-mac is a boy... not only does he party at night (like Chris), he LOOKS like him - no kidding! A-mac is a morning person (like me :-) so that is our baby girl...well who knows really - it is all too exciting! Like I've said a million times, I don't care what combination we get, we just want 2 happy healthy little bouncing babies.


I sound like a broken record when I talk about Nickole and how grateful we are... I mean how could we not? She is giving us the most incredible thing! (things! lol)

(I hope she continues to be comfortable, and enjoy this pregnancy... I want nothing more than for this to be an incredible experience for her...)

and ps - your friend can meet the babies when we visit. xx

ETA: WAIT WAIT WAIT!! I got them mixed up (seriously? already?) Amac looks like Chris... and is the "morning" twin... B-mac I think is the girl... oh well like I've said, who knows! But Amac - just look at that profile - it is CHRIS! LOL

Tales from the Nesting Place - Chapter 4

Hello again,
So we have made it past the half way marker and all is well. My current size is about the size I was at 7, maybe 7.5 months with my middle child (respectively about 136lbs) so... all and all not too bad considering there are two perfect looking buns in the oven...

BTW did I mention that today is our 20 week marker?!

The babies are very active... Bmac likes to have wild mac daddy partys before bed and Amac is super happy in the morning, so only one side of me is normally bouncing around at a time. ...and dare I say it, both enjoy classic rock so car rides with loud music are always fun.

I am enjoying the warm weather thank goodness it's about time...all the cold and rain was starting to get me down.

We are looking forward to the summer fun...beach, camping, ice cream... okay okay the camping this year may be a bit of a challenge but who doesn't love an adventure and my children are at that perfect age to do camping things, without all the baggage that comes with infant children.

I am getting a lot of strangers asking me when I am due... when I tell them end of Oct, the look on their faces...... well as the say on TV, priceless, maybe I should start taking pics.

I have gotten a ton of support from everyone around me... friends, neighbors, my daughter's school etc.... Just today my friend next door stood petting me like a Buddha and like a smack it hit her and she said, "I will never see the babies in your belly, that's going to feel a bit strange." I was a little surprised that this is the first time it dawned on her.

My children think it is cool that the babies can hear them now so they are always talking to them... It's kinda funny to hear them say, "goodnight Lisa's babies
sleep tight and no fighting!" lol, or "excuse me babies I am going to snuggle with my mommy now okay...because she's MY mommy."

Each day even if I am in leg cramp hell or too tired to move one more inch, I take a moment to think about what a gift my children are to my family and I am so happy that I can help give that gift to Lisa and Chris.

Please excuse the pics they are not that great but they will do in a pinch.

Take care everyone.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

18 weeks, 5 days!!

What a great day! As usual we had a great visit with Nickole who is always in a bloody fantastic mood...which makes this arrangement just so much more wonderful and easy. Isn't she just a button! "Cute as a button" I kept telling her...she really is...as cute as a button.

A-mac and B-mac are measuring right on target and are completely in sync size wise, which is AMAZING. Dr. Smith was thrilled with the u/s results and said there is nothing to worry about at this point. We couldn't have had a better day - seeing our babies on the monitor, knowing we will be holding them close not too long from now. It really felt REAL today - like all the "this is surreal" feelings are starting to slip away, and reality is setting in in a big way. We're just so darn happy and excited!

Ok... and to be fair to Nickole, because I don't think I've ever posted my mug on this thing... here's a pic of me all smiles checking out the u/s pics.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

TWINS! Almost 17 Weeks

Hello everyone – sorry the pauses between posts seem to be growing longer …but bear with me through these GRATEFULLY UNEVENTFUL months. At this point no news is good news.

Our little bubbabaloos are still growing away …and Nickole’s tummy is growing slowly but surely. I am anxious to get to the next scan so we can be reassured that everything is right on track. Thankfully we have one in two weeks…so we can see our little people again.

NO WE DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE SEXES! Lol – everyone is up in arms about this, well some people are and you know who you are!!! but our families seem to agree with our decision. There is something so special about being surprised and also, it is one of the few things Chris and I have the ultimate say in. We both feel it will make the birth of our babies just that much more exciting and special… I don’t know…I love the idea of being surprised… Boy boy??? Girl Girl?? Boy Girl?? Who knows! I am thrilled for any combination. Honestly, no preference whatsoever.

And yes: It IS one of the last few surprises left in life. I will give you that line!

Nickole is doing great. A trooper throughout, and very knowledgeable and “take charge” which has worked out well for us considering our limited knowledge on pregnancies and what needs to be done when. I’m sure had I experienced a pregnancy myself, it would be a little easier to get the gist of tests and u/s… You know when you do something yourself, it just sinks in a little more. But being on the sidelines it’s great to have someone who can relay the information to us in an informed way.

Work has come back with the decision not to pay me the company top ups. Disgusting and pathetic. I no longer feel the loyal employee, like I have for the past 12 years. Nope.

It’s funny…but I seem to have really warmed up to the idea of twins. Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted twins, but when it hits you for the first time that you ARE having them, the reality of it all comes crashing in and it takes a little while to wrap ones head around it. But I’ve really come around to it… and I am no longer hyper ventilating…no longer fretting about the amount of space we have, the lack of money we’ll have.

I just LOVE the idea of twins right now – and having one would only seem strange…

…like buying one shoe.

Friday, April 22, 2011

13 weeks and 2 days pregnant!

Hi again!

Had a great chat with Nickole this morning. She being mom, a.k.a., the ultimate multi-tasker, talked to me on phone, changed E's diaper, juggled Clementines with M, all the while preparing them to leave the house. I think she was also knitting an afghan whilst flipping flapjacks. I wonder, just how many arms does she have? Between motherly duties, she also managed (how I'm not sure) another couple of pics for your viewing pleasure. I can't deny I felt a wave of emotion looking at them. Our little ones are in there, growing away and getting ready to meet their mum and dad. I can't wait!

On a funny note, Nickole and I talked endlessly about how she was packing the kids up to go to Toys R' Us to buy a birthday present for a birthday tomorrow. I know it was "one of those mornings" where the kids sabotaged her every attempt to get ready in a reasonable amount of time. She finally succeeded, strapped them in the car, and took the long drive to Toys R' Us...only to realize it was Good Friday. OOPS! I admit I feel a smidgeon of guilt myself that I did not realize this and save her the trouble. It literally did not cross my mind. I know I'm not the one who's pregnant, but I am definitely suffering the "baby brain" everyone speaks of. Wait...what was I saying?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'm in Baby Heaven (12 weeks)

Hello my friends! Yesterday Nickole and I went for an ultrasound at the clinic...to see two beautiful little babies! Omg I still can't believe how incredible they are - it still feels a little like I'm in a dream, about to ABRUPTLY be awakened (and kept awake...for many months) but seeing those little babies swimming around in Nickole's belly made this all feel so much more real. They are so fully formed, and Amac (Baby A) was doing the Funky Chicken - her limbs were all over the place... Bmac (Baby B, obviously) was just floating around, like he was on the moon...

I don't know why I think of Amac as a girl and Bmac as a boy...maybe it's because my mother suggested Amac was a girl, or maybe it is because the original Bmac is Brian...my brother in law... Bmac Senior. He's a boy.

Nickole contacted me today to say that the high risk OBG had called her and told her that "everything looks great". She was told to book another u/s at the same clinic in 4 weeks time, just to ensure they continue to grow at the same rate. Then we will go again around 18-20 weeks.

I asked Nickole if her mommy intuition was telling her that everything was right on track, no problems, and she said, "yes, the mommy in me is saying we are a-ok". The mummy in me feels the same way. I am confident my babies are doing very well.

I felt proud like a proud mom for the first time ever today. It felt great!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Life Lessons

Ok so you'd think that I probably would have suffered my fair share of "life lessons" by now, yes? No. The universe is not done with me yet, don't be getting all excited for nothing. Apparently now I have to withstand stingy wounds as well...salty ones. The company I have worked for for 12 years (and I picture them smugly shrugging whilst referencing the Collective Agreement) is not required to pay me for my leave, as I am not the "BIRTH MOTHER". Well...what can I say? They have me by the...

I shouldn't really blame management, but in a way I do. They have the power to make things right. They have the power to do the right thing. They choose to look at the C.A. and use it as a way out.

No, I didn't give birth, but the financial burden is the same for me as it is for a woman giving birth. Are we saying that women who can give birth get more money? How come? Are we financially rewarding only the women who can get pregnant themselves? What about the many other ways people create families? Do they not deserve financial assistance from their companies as well? After all we're all taking babies home from the hospital...we're all off for the same amount of time, we're all just trying to raise a family.

Screw them and their semantics. And you better believe I'm adding it to the agenda come bargaining.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Tales from the Nesting Place - Chapter 3

Nickole almost 8 weeks (March 14th) & then again at 10 weeks (March 31st)

Hello Again,

So according to Today's parent web site... The week by week guide that I signed up for to keep track of things, I am past the 10th week and in to the 11th week so it does not surprise me that today the babies started to have movements that I can feel. Seems a little more real now... I was so excited that I had to text Lisa and get her out of bed at stupid o-clock in the morning.

This is the info the web site gives me for week during week 11.

Stages Development Guide

Your pregnancy: Week 11

your baby

• Your baby is about the size of a small lime now. He weighs about 8g (0.3 oz) and he's about 44 to 66 mm (1.8 to 2.4 in) long, from the crown of his head to his buttocks. But not for long. He's entering a period of rapid growth. Over the next three weeks, he will double in length!

• Your baby has become quite an active little guy, kicking and swallowing away inside your womb.

• His fingernails have formed and his external genitals are beginning to develop now. In three weeks, your baby's development into a boy or girl will be complete.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The waiting's un-BEAR-able

...he whispered as I walked by. So he came home with me.