Conversations in Hell

For anyone who knows me in real life, they would probably admit that I'm a fairly friendly person with an open type personality. I like to chat with people, and I’ve made a lot of friends over the years. This is a good thing, I can’t deny it, but having worked in this building for 10 years, occassionally you bump into someone you haven't seen in a long time, and the awkward conversation begins.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, what have you been up to?”

See…the thing about women with children, or soon-to-be-mothers, is that they can always default to their kids as a topic of conversation. Answers to the above question often go like this…

“Well the kids are getting soooo big now – Joey’s starting pre-school ½ days this year and Sandra has her first tooth!”

Or

“Just waiting to see what this little one’s going to be.” (rubs belly and smiles)

Or

“The kids are both enrolled in hockey, so I’ve become one of those annoying hockey mom’s. Hahahaaa!”

I hear it ALL the time. It’s an easy way out of a conversation when you have nothing of much interest to say about yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do it myself – happily – because that’s life…eventually your world becomes all about the kids and THANK GOD for that because otherwise what the hell would you have to talk about? Admit it – you do it – especially when you’re annoyed that you have to have this conversation in the first place…after all, all you really wanted was to just get yourself a chai latte.

I found myself faced with this conversation the other day, and I might add for flavour, that it was a mere 20 minutes after I’d gotten the dreaded BFN phone call. It was unexpected (as they usually are) and the question was thrown at me like I was center stage with a spot light on me. And nothing…I’ve got nothing. Blanco de Mayo. I suppose my conversations could go like this…”

“Well we’ve just finished a SEVENTH fertility procedure…and I just found out it was negative!”

Or

“Well yesterday…let’s see what did I do yesterday…oh that’s right I spent the day on the couch because everything was clean and there’s no kids to take care of…so…”

Or

“My husband and I are very depressed these days, so we don’t really do much…plus we’re always broke from failed fertility treatments. You?”

Talking about planning a trip to New York or the Caribbean or enrolling in a course in the spring just sounds like you’re trying too hard (and would have been a lie) …so what I actually said was, “Oh, not a whole lot, what about you?” (deflection)

Now being a woman in her late 50’s I expected to hear stories of Florida or the Caribbean, about how they were buying a cottage up north, or something to do with work. Her reply?

“Well!!! I just became a grandmother for the first time!!!”

Urgh. Seriously? WTF Universe?