Today I'm feeling so down. The process I'm going through is so stressful and hard...because it's not just about me, it's dependent on so many other things. But I have to carry on...I have to keep the faith and hope that this will all work out. It has always been just Chris and me, fighting this battle, but needing outside help has been a whole new lesson in patience - one I thought I had already had to learn the hard way... but apparently 5 years of infertility wasn't quite enough. I have to ask myself... why am I doing this? Are we trying to put a square peg into a round hole?

My dad said everything always works itself out...he's absolutely right - and I know this...but its hard to see it when you are smack dab in the middle of it all.

Please keep us in your thoughts, as we get through the next few months. I am trying so hard to make the right decisions, having no experience in any of this.

I never thought this would be so hard.