Sunday, January 17, 2010

Time goes slowly. Time goes slowly. period in sight. They told me that once I stopped taking the Superfact, I would get a period "within 3-5 days". Well today is Day 5 and there's no sign in sight...but I KNEW this...I somehow knew this wouldn't bring on a period. It's only been a couple of weeks since my last one. My body is, if nothing else, reliable...and for the past 28 years I've had a period every 28/29 days...not 17...not 22. I know drugs do miraculous things...but this time I just have a feeling.

This isn't happening.

Then there's S. How do we know she isn't half way through a cycle by now? It's been a few weeks since she's been monitored. And as far as I know she won't even be monitored on Tuesday when she goes in for her injection class. What if things have kicked in for her and we've missed the mark?

I'll call the clinic tomorrow from work and tell them it's Day 6 and still no period as promised. I just don't feel comfortable calling the clinic these days. I feel like they see me as this total pain in the ass control freak, which I know is a stretch but I'm a paranoid type person and there's nothing worse to me than having to depend on someone else for information. It doesn't seem to matter how relaxed and "ha-ha-ha I'm so chilled out - see?" I am when I call, I always get a sense that they are annoyed to be hearing from me at all...that ONCE AGAIN I am calling them before I need to be.

Can you blame a girl for being anxious? I just don't see how the timing works out... I've asked so many times, but yet I don't seem to get an answer that satisfies my worry. I can't keep asking the same questions...I feel like they are rolling their eyes behind my back.

I have to ask myself though, is it similar to those people who call me up asking about their pay? They sound so flustered and confused, yet to me it is simple. I often I feel like saying (although I never would), "Are YOU trained in human resources and payroll? No you aren't - so just let me do my job."

Is this what the clinic is doing to me? Have I become an unbearable member of the team? Surely there are women (picture CEO's VP's, etc.) who demand control and bark orders at the staff... Surely I'm not the most annoying infert to ever cross their path.

Why do I even care? CLEARLY I have way too much limbo time...


leslie said...

checking in to see if af finally showed.


maxandzuzu said...

Hi, I'm new to your site. I just wanted to say that you have every right to be anxious. We (IFs) have traveled a long distance. I too toy with the idea of DEs. I'm excited to see where yours will take you (hopefully to motherhood!). And don't feel bad about bugging the clinic. Believe me, they're getting paid for it! Good luck!