Monday, January 4, 2010

Yesterday I lost it. I officially lost it.



It started out innocently enough. But I was stressed. I was stressed about a lot of things, but mostly about S, and the news that she will have to return to Finland. Of course, having coped with IF for the past 5 years, my mind instantly went into "worst-case-scenario" mode...that way anything other than plain ol' screwed is gravy, right? Suddenly I felt doomed, like all of this effort, regardless of the fact that it was 100% genuine and enjoyable on my part, was all for nothing. The beginning of the end. I found myself having conversations in my head to the tune of "it was too good to be true...dammit Lisa, I TOLD YOU!"

So I started writing an email... And I couldn't spit out the words in the way that I wanted to, and I didn't want to sound mean, because we all know that's not me, and I didn't want to sound desperate, and I didn't want to sound harsh, but I needed to be firm... I also didn't want anything to be misinterpreted... So I wrote a rough draft, and then tweaked it so that it was a little less ... raw. A little more refined. Insert a couple of happy faces - et voila!

And then what did I do next?

Somehow I manage to send BOTH emails at the exact same time - the original one being all long and choppy and random thoughts and cut and paste and god knows what...and the nicey nicey version. If Chris had let me get to a toilet, I would have put my head it in and flushed.

Say it with me..."What an IDIOT!" (laughtrack)

We're hoping S has a great sense of humor because, when these things happen, they are devastating uh-huh, but afterwards they're quite hilarious. Its hilarious right?

1 comment:

leslie said...

wait..what news about going to finland....off to send you an email..and just let me know what's what without worrying about how it sounds or if it's chatty enough or whatever you silly sweetie! love you to pieces xoxoxoxo