I don't know what it is about writing...sometimes you feel like getting it all down, and other times you just can't bring yourself to do it. Lately, to be perfectly honest, its been more of a case of "I can't be bothered." Horrible attitude huh? Well it comes with the territory I suppose. There are long months of nothingness...just continuing on with no irons in the fire...it makes me crazy and panicked.

I don't know how it happened, but something inside my head clicked on and there it was...my plan. Clear as mud but a plan nonetheless. I have to switch doctors and try another IVF. I don't know at what point I need to give up on the whole project, but it ain't at the ripe old age of 39...that's for shizzle. So here we are - on the cusp of another shot...

The new doc, we'll call Dr. Glimmer of Hope, does things much differently than the old doc, we'll call Dr. Crapola over at the old clinic, we'll call Deathquest. His process is the antithesis of Dr. Crapola's where everyone appears to get the same breakfast, lunch and dinner. And he takes his time, spends hours explaining things, talks things out. The most time I ever spent with Dr. Crapola in a room was approx. 2 minutes (other than the retrieval which I'm sure he feels takes up way too much of his precious time). Dr. G. spent TWO AND A HALF HOURS looking at my girl pipes the other day...TWO AND A HALF HOURS PEOPLE. He had a damn good look and discovered some scary, but fixable things. Dr. G. thinks that if we eliminate these things that could be lowering my chances, and boost up my egg quality, we have a fair shot.

So there it is in a nutshell. Dr. G. called me angry and for the sake of this latest attempt, I am going to put all of my ill feelings about Deathquest behind me and move forward.

Oh, and on Thursday, Chris and I signed the final adoption homestudy papers...we are DONE! We are officially in a position to receive that phone call saying we've been chosen. That's very exciting.

TWO irons in the fire.

(ps thanks N for reminding me to WRITE!!)