Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Five Stages of Grief

I was pleasantly surprised and just a little embarrassed to discover that people are still checking my site on a regular basis. How do I know this? It’s a fancy little program called Google Analytics. It tells me on any given day just how many people have popped their heads in. You’ll be interested (and perhaps relieved) to know it does not tell me who...all I know is that yesterday 25 people logged on while I stared into space and picked my teeth.


Clearly, I have let my faithful followers down by not giving them an IVF update, or at least something to read when they can’t stand to do another moment of work. It’s just that these downtimes are necessary for me to put closure on the past and to gear-up for the future. Think of it like the 5 stages of grief…

What do you mean I’m not pregnant? I totally am – I can feel it kicking.

WTF I’m not pregnant? Chris this is all your fault.

If I was pregnant, I swear I would never EVER raise my voice to it. (pffft…ok.)

I’m old…I’m barren…God, I REALLY hate my new haircut…blaaa blaaa blaaa

Chris: What’s for dinner?
Lisa: Chardonnay.

Tomorrow we have a “follow up” meeting to review last month’s debacle-turned-IUI/lets call it a “primer” cycle that has me a little twisted in the knickers. I want to know lots of things…but mostly I want to know what was so different about this protocol? There was so much talk about how Lifequest dropped the ball, and so much assurance that "they could do better" ...but when it got right down to it, nothing was very much different at all. And the part that really annoyed me, was that when it came time to talk “uterus lining”, which is of utmost importance to an implanting embryo, it was “too thin”. How the eff did that happen? We get to the very end and then the uterus isn’t ready? No. This is NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Tomorrow we’ll be needing some answers, or this will all be called off.

Wish us luck.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

That cat looks "other worldly", or did you photoshop that cutesy face to make her/him look like a strange creature from another planet? Anyway about your latest blog, you hit the nail on the head, especially the last one (acceptance), that's my favourite stage ...... Looks like you are bracing for your next challenge. May the force be with you ... we certainly will.