Saturday, October 24, 2009

Drama Queen

I tend to be dramatic - its a good thing. It makes me more interesting. No that's not me in the picture although I wish it were. She has fabulous hair and is probably ripe with fertility.

I think the only person who doesn't appreciate my dramatic flair is Chris (for obvious reasons) ...and maybe my dad...although thankfully the days of storming off in a teenage sized rage and using a foot to slam the bedroom door are long behind me.

I get worked up see...and that's when things get out of hand. I thought that the doctor was pulling a fast one on me...that he might be all talk and no action. The more I thought about it, the more I compared this experience to the one I had at Lifequest. You have to agree that this last IVF attempt was a bit of a shitshow. Nothing worked, I didn't have a good response, I didn't feel like things were any different, and it got canceled. Not a very good first impression after a year of hearing "we can do better."

So we had the meeting with the doc and I was prepared to get to the bottom of this...demand some answers. I started out strong, tough, but I quickly realized I was way out of my league...that I am not a medical genius, rather I am a college educated fashionista who rarely reads the newspaper. I sensed an irritation from the doctor (one thing I am VERY good at is reading people - they don't teach THAT in school) and backed right off. I turned my bulleted list of zingers into concerns which ended up a much more effective approach. Turns out I was really quite off-base about a lot of things and that there is a lot more finesse and consideration. It's the part we don't see... the "how much effort is the doctor putting towards us, and only us?" part. I guess I am a little jaded having just come from the Lifequest Assembly Line.

The bottom line is that I am 40, and the doctor can only do so much with what my body is willing to offer. We're hoping I will "trend" like I did at Lifequest and that this next IVF will be much more fruitful after a priming cycle. Last time I got 13 follicles after a priming cycle...wouldn't that be great?! Go ovaries go!


Anonymous said...

yes another 13 would be excellent and at the end of the day, we all have to put our hands into the hands of god which is this case is your consultant - he is god - well for you anyway - this blog is def going to have a happy ending - I can feel it!

Anonymous said...

Hey Drama Queen ... I agree with Anonymous. It will have a happy ending. You don't need 13. You need 1. Yes. You ONLY need 1. I'll do my best to walk and mother you through November ... that involves some nagging ... watch out, be ready !!!!