So...if you're following along, Dr. G. has us doing a "diagnostics cycle" - which means we are getting a baseline of what my body naturally does - all on its own without fertility drugs. Smart idea now that I think of it (2.5 years later). Anyhoo! Doc's office calls to tell me that I have a very lovely looking follicle on the right side - not the left where the dreaded hydrosalpinx is - waiting to strike dead any living thing inside me. The Hydro Monster!! BRAAAAAAAH! THOU SHALT NOT LIVE! (that's Hydro Monster's voice...in case you hadn't figured that out. Please refer to scary monster picture shown above). So back to the point of the phone call, doc says to "get busy" over the next few days...you know, give it a go. I'll have to break the news to Chris gently...he doesn't like being told what to do...ok Chris I am laughing right now - you are absolutely fuming no doubt. Well you know...get your own blog... (love you!)
Anyway, I have to have Hydro Monster removed from my innerds before any IVF can happen. That means surgery. I am waiting for a surgery date...real patiently I might add...tap...tap...tap...tap...tap...
There are 2 girls on the Peach who found out TODAY they are pregnant. A long road for them - very very long road with lots of IVF attempts. I am over the moon for both of them - for the obvious reasons, as well as hope for myself. I think we are all in for about $40,000+ each (not that we give a crapola about the money spent, but just to give you an approximate idea of the level of fuckedness). The only thing that differentiates us is that they both have had pregnancies. For one a miscarriage, for the other a chemical. I beg the powers that be to let them continue to be pregnant and have happy healthy squiggly pudgy pink babies. Twins would be heaven sent, but I won't push my luck.
I really do feel like the last man standing...and its kinda weird since Chris and I don't really have a diagnosis other than the hydrosalpinx and possible DNA fragmentation in his sperm, or old eggs, etc. Good grief it really does seem hopeless...I have to say. I cannot envision a pregnancy at this point, yet I have to stay hopeful because it happens for women all the time. Those who truly thought they'd never ever get pregnant...it does happen. I can't be that screwed can I? Where I never get to have a baby, and I never get to adopt either? WTF?
Anyway, bottom line my ladies got knocked up - and for this moment we'll say, if it happened for them, it can happen for us.
2 comments:
your literacy skills are second to none - such humour injected yet for a real sad situation. I really enjoy reading your blog and it's good that you are back on it - with much optimism I might add.
Looking forward to next installment.
Glad to see you are back to your writing, and so you should, it's not often you get a gifted writer with a real story to relate. You write from the heart, without worrying about what people will think about you or the content. It is the essence of all good writing, make it entertaining, make it funny, make it real, and your audience will be waiting for your next post. But hey - no pressure......
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