Thursday, April 3, 2008

10 Days Post 3 Day Transfer

So woke up at 6:20 – like clockwork to pee and thought...hmmmm...today I should have enough HcG in my urine to detect on a home pregnancy test...right? I mean, I could put myself out of my misery with all this wait and wonder. I could test today and it would be a pretty good predictor of the final result...right? Wrong. I am more confused than ever.
Pee’d on the damn stick to find a complete and utter negative line...devastation ensued. Tears, sobbing, calling into work...can’t come in...can’t speak... Time elapsed and then Chris and I decided we’d go back to bed for a bit – chill out...well it was about 20 minutes later and I grabbed the stick for another glimpse at my childless future...what’s this now? I see something...I kinda sorta see something. But are my eyes playing tricks on me? I have to squint...tilt the stick...go towards the light, etc. But its there...I think. Could it just be too early to detect anything? Or could the test be bum. I know you are not supposed to rely on the results after the instructed time frame (which is 10 minutes) but there’s an effing line!! But don't get your hopes up...it didn't come up right away.
The Peaches. The Peaches make me cry. I just finished reading a couple of posts after apologizing for being such a drama queen and hogging the forum...they made me cry. They are so caring and so awesome...I never thought belonging to this on-line community would mean so much to me. They are EVERYTHING to me. I love them all. Since posting this morning – and showing evidence of the stick in question, they have digitally enhanced the picture for me to show the blue line, they have INVERTED the colors kinda like infrared FBI shit to show that the line, in fact, does exist. They have all cheered over this stick, but too are cautiously optimistic...we all agree. A follow test must be done.
Stupidly, I sped-walked to the Shoppers Drug Mart for more Stix. Came home and immediately pee’d in a cup...Chris's favorite cup for good luck - JUUUUUST KIDDING - held the stick there for 5 and then waited. Nothing but one pink line. I could not even tell you where the 2nd line would appear...a definite negative. No doubt about it...waited 20 minutes...still very negative.
It might be because it wasn’t first morning urine...although it was looking like a good sample – I didn’t drink too much after the first pee... I dunno – it’s all very...uncertain.
I asked Chris – what is your GUT telling you? He said he was optimistic...but cautiously. We laughed because I said “no – give me your TRUE gut feeling” – which clearly he didn’t want to do because his responses then became:
“I’m not sure...it could go either way.”
“I’d say its 50/50 at this point.”
“It’s going to go one way...or the other.”
At least he makes me laugh.

So we wait...we skip tomorrow because LISA NEEDS TO GET HER ASS TO WORK BEFORE SHE GETS THE BOOT, and test on Saturday. If indeed that was a faint positive, it will show up stronger on Saturday. Beta (blood test) is on Monday...it is not unheard of to get a false negative on a home pregnancy test and a positive beta...but rare. There’s still hope...don’t give up hope.

26 comments:

Suzy said...

I TOTALLY see the line LJ!! They are VERY light at first and don't show up right away. Screw the 5 minutes or whatever. I had plenty, PLENTY of these at first (early on). They got darker over time. Plus, frozen embies take longer to implant from what I hear, so someone else's 13 dpo might not be the same as yours (that's true no matter what). I really can see that line and think it's a GREAT sign! I really wish you would test tomorrow with FMU so you would know for sure.

Meez said...

Oh Suz - I so hope you are right...I dunno...its hard to feel optimistic with the other negative...but we'll see. Thanks for chimin' in babe!!

(ps - if anyone is wondering where this pic is - Suz would have seen it on The Peach...sorry - not posting it here - its only for true POAS addicts...
xo

Anonymous said...

Heya Hon :)

We love you. We are supportive of you allllllllllllll the way and you know the peach is THE place to come for 150% support, where you won't have someone berate you for asking "silly" questions. We are your TRUE friends, not a wishy washy "frenemy" :p - Praying for you love.

RaeRae

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