Wednesday, April 2, 2008

9 Days Post Transfer

I KNOW I can POAS now…but I am far too scared to. I really am such a chicken – I feel that an answer today or tomorrow would 80% be the final result… Some might say, it may be too early to test…but we all know that it’s probably not and if I am truly pregnant it would show up now.

I’m not ready for the answer…if it’s negative. I’m just not ready. I think it would crush me at this point. It’s possible I’ve told too many people…and now I am feeling the pressure. Not the Peach gang – they get to know everything, and not family, but “others” that maybe I shouldn’t have made privy.

There’s good and bad to so many people being “in the loop”. The good is so much positive energy and prayer (if you believe). It certainly cannot hurt the cause. I know that everyone I’ve told is gunning for us – they care so much and that has made my life! The bad is that wow…what a let down for so many people. I know everyone is waiting – watching – hoping – praying… Everyone wants this so bad for me (it’s a nice feeling – trust me)…but a lot of pressure.

I think if things don’t swing our way I am done with trying to make a baby happen inside me. It’s too hard on me…physically and mentally – and I think Chris needs to move on as well and find a solution with a bit more certainty. When I think back to when I was in my 20’s – I remember, because I came from a small family and had a brother who was older and had his own thing going on, I wanted a large family. I used to always talk about 6…that way everyone would have a buddy…but it just wasn’t in the cards. Shame because I am missing family in my life…and right now it feels like it’s the only thing that’s important…the only thing that matters.

Ok…today’s sympts…

Nothing really – just tired…big sore boobs...sore toosh (see below!)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Now listen, don't worry about 'letting everyone down', this is about you - of course everyone would love a happy outcome but at the same time, no one wants you to continue all the pain and anguish that you have been going through.

How on earth do you manage to sit down with that fierce looking site - but I might add and agree with everyone else - what a mighty fine butt!