Friday, February 11, 2011

The Game of Emotions

I've gotten so many great emails - you are all so excited and can't contain yourselves, and I am so grateful for the support.

I know this is such a great shot...I KNOW this, but you have to understand that I have had nothing but disappointment for 6 long years. And as much as I want to jump on the "OMG THIS IS IT!" bandwagon, I can't...because I just can't. I know the chances are good. I know that putting 25 year old embryos into a surrogate with a perfect uterus bumps our chances substantially, but falling on the "wrong side of the stats" for so many years has ruined my ability to be optimistic.

I hate to sound so down about it all. I hope that when Nickole reads this she has nothing to do with being grateful, for which I am's just that this infertility disappointment shit gets in the way. I'm officially broken down by it.

But I do know, outside of me and my mind, that our chances are good - BETTER than 50/50, but 50/50 is where I stay...kindof like roulette. It's either red or black, red or black.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you do whatever it is you need to do to keep yourself sane, I too live in the land of the nay-sayer. let the rest of us fret, bite our fingernails until they are bloody stumps and pace the floors. that's why you have a team!

if this doesn't work I'm thinking I'll organize a massive protest and storm the clinic - it worked for Egypt!

let us take the stress on this one if you can Lis
we've got your back