Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Donor World is a Lonely Place

So...I know its been a while, but I guess I've been a little stuck at the keyboard. The writer's block happened as a result of fear - How much can I say, how much should I say? It's not that I'm too proud or that it's "too weird" to talk openly about our need for an egg donor - no, that part I am 100% ok with and actually I'm thankful that this is an option available to me, because let's face it I need the help! It's all the messed up legalities that seem to linger behind it all, and the fact that this is fairly uncharted territory for women like me...who are doing this all on their own with no agency guidance or government backing - just me treading water on my own.

I do have some help. I, of course, have a wonderful husband, and parents who absolutely support this move, and a great couple of friends who have practially fought the fight with me...along my side every step of the way. Then there is another friend who did donor eggs through an agency, and her experience and advice has been invaluable. So although it is me alone, I have some great life support.

As you know we found a great donor. We'll call her "S". It's almost crazy that we lucked into such a willing donor right off the bat. I keep waiting for the ball to drop because it was too easy, and she is too lovely. All I can do is hope that the "powers that be" have been holding their breath waiting for me to make this decision, and once I did they let out a big sigh of relief, high-five'd each other, said "finally!!" and handed me S. That is how I'm processing this - that all this pain and suffering - all of this fight for us to have a family, needed to come down to this final decision, and that they were all just waiting for me to realize it.

Currently she (and in this case "we") are waiting for her period so we can begin the testing required to ensure she is a suitable candidate. She will have blood work drawn to test for all STD's, among other things, a full physical workup, and an ultra sound to ensure that she is producing enough follicles for me. Then we hope that the doctor will give us the green light and then we wait again, for her next period. At that point it would be just like I was doing an IVF, except that she will be doing the egg production part of it. They will "sync" us up so that our bodies are in tune, and she will do the stimulation drugs (injections) to produce as many good follicles as she can. She will have the egg retrieval (bless her heart) and then her part of the puzzle is done. They will then take her healthy 25 year old eggs and fertilize them with Chris's sperm...3-5 days later, they put them back in me and then we begin the dreaded 2WW (two week wait).

BUT one step at a time...for now we wait - we wait for S's period.

You're probably asking yourself, when will all of this happen? Well, if S completes her testing in December, then the IVF can begin in January. I know, it is crazy fast! I can't begin to explain to you how exciting this is for me. This might just work! I really might just work!!


Nicole said...

What good news! January- that IS crazy fast! I hope all goes well with her blood work, etc. How exciting! What a blessing to have been linked up with S so quickly!

Tabitha said...

Yay for January!!

the good eggs said...

Bless your heart for going through the search pretty much alone. You are a brave woman!