SHG: The New Water Boarding

Yesterday's Sonohystogram wasn't the slightest bit pleasant...I mean, we all know going in that spreading your legs, having a speculum inserted (always an extra special treat) and liquid shot through your tubes isn't going to compare to say, a day at the spa, but generally its pretty quick. In my case, however, and don't be jealous, I get the balloon treatment. Sounds like fun right? Its a balloon on the end of a catheter, shoved up and over your cervix and into your uterus, and then - and here's where it gets good stay with me - they BLOW IT UP so they can stretch out your uterus and have a look. I'm telling you its gotta be worse than water boarding - too bad men don't have uteruses because I'm pretty sure this could be an effective torture tactic. The pain is searing, its like period cramps gone wrong. There's more.. My uterus is narrow and doesn't like foreign objects obnoxiously shoved into it...it expels the balloon - slips it out and says NO! NO WANT BALLOON RIGHT NOW! and assumes the fisty-cuffs position. FOUR TIMES PEOPLE FOUR TIMES I had to have this procedure repeated because my uterus (who I need to have a serious talk with) once again decided to misbehave. My new doc, who yesterday I wanted to backhand right from the stirrups position, was very apologetic and later called to make sure I was alright. He said what we did today must have been very traumatic, and wondered if I had any serious pain, fever, etc. I lied and said I was feeling ok...and then spent the night writhing with stomach pain from the 4 heavy duty anti-biotic pills I had to take all at once to stave off any future infection...like a hydrosalpinx.

I'm glad I stuck it out because there was no way I was coming back to try it again another day. I was determined to potentially put SHG's behind me forever. But to be honest, if that balloon had slipped out a 4th time, I wouldn't have been able to continue. It was becoming unbearable, it had been an hour and a half of this, and I was verging tears. I have to say that this whole baby making business is so barbaric and awful - how can anyone endure this type of constant prodding and poking...only to end up disappointed over and over again. I know many women who can't handle the process and give up - live a life without fertility treatments and choose another path. I can now understand how they come to that decision. Sometimes it's all just too unbearable.

Having said all that, things look ok...my uterus is narrow, and small, but once again my mother made my day with her unknowing hilarity...she said "Lisa, MIDGETS have babies." lol - well ok then.