Friday, April 10, 2009

This n' That

I kindof wish sometimes Chris was head over heels in love with me, like worshiped the ground I walked on. But then when I think about it, and if that were the case, I would never have married him. I would have been irritated. THANKFULLY Chris is consistently unimpressed by me, so you need not worry.

I kid - we get along, mostly. We seem to have a fun thing going on, but at the same time we are so totally opposite! Night and day. When I have the most energy, he has the least...and when he has the most, I have the least. He's a night owl, I'm a morning girl. He turns right, I turn left. I want bacon, he wants a sticky bun. He wants to be alone, I want to socialize. He drives me nuts and I'm certain I drive him nuts back. Can this kind of love be enduring? Who knows? Is YOUR love "enduring"? I do know that there's always something about Chris that keeps me coming back for more. He's kindof handsome, we'll give him that...he's quite charming really, and he's funny as hell! I don't think people realize how funny he is because if he's not 100% comfortable, he's more "polite" but there is something he does every single day that makes me almost pee my pants.

Enough with the Cmac Adoration Society already, this blog is about me and its been a long time in coming.

The surgery is still scheduled for June 4 but I have put in a call to "Shirley" the coordinator to see if it can be moved up a little. I don't mind the timing of things really, but I am twiddling my thumbs for 2 months and the sooner I recover the faster we can move onto an IVF. I feel like things aren't going fast enough - I'm getting twitchy again. One can't fully understand what its like to have NOTHING going on each month, especially at my age. 2 months feels like 2 years when you're 40 and trying to get knocked up.

So surgery in June, possibly sooner...IVF September? October? I am to heal as best as possible before attempting an IVF. Also, My FSH levels will be checked before starting stims and if my levels for that month are crapola then no IVF that month. I like that idea.

Sometimes, however, I think to myself that this is like gardening. You can have the best soil possible - ready to go and rich with nutrients, but a bad seed is a bad seed. It does worry me - all this uterus landscaping is great - but my eggs still suck. I really hope this new doc really meant what he said and that he really CAN DO BETTER with the drug protocol. He said he could - I hope he wasn't just being cocky "I am god" doc to get our business. I would like to see a couple of embryos thrive - that's not asking too much is it? Maybe even one or two to freeze? Ok now I'm pushing my luck.

No comments: