Monday, February 2, 2009

It was Ambitious

...starting my diet so soon. Exercising like a madwoman with my homey Nicole...thinking I could "keep it up" until Maui. We started before Xmas...and I've been obsessed with eating healthy and exercising 3 times a week since then. And where has it gotten me? Nowhere! I stepped on the scale this morning to find I am right back to my good old 131 (I was a 125 last week). Why does my weight fluctuate so badly, and why can I not stop thinking about potato chips and Chocolate Rice Crispy Squares? Seriously these things are a valuable commodity in this household. We actually do our negotiating with them. I get a rice crispy square, he gets out of cleaning the bathroom. What.? It is SOOO worth it. Shit - maybe I should just buy them and make him do the bathroom. Note to self.

I know I am PMSing - I know I'm not pregnant (snort). I want to eat fattening things, and cakes and cookies and deep fried crispy goodness.

I am insatiable.

God help me - I jumped on my bed yesterday so I could get a full length vision of what it might look like to wear a bikini in the noon day sun (I used my ceiling light as a direct downward fat seeker tool). I stood in shock looking in the mirror. My knees resemble stacks of butter crepes. I've never been fortunate with the knees - there's lots of fat and skin all folding over itself in a fight for the floor...

In fact I give up. Its too hard and its too all consuming. I am SUPPOSED to be a fat girl.

Oooh the liberation - the freedom!!!

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