Now I...had...the time of my life....no I never felt this way before....and I swear its the truth...and I owe it all to you!

Well the end of summer approaches. I can’t say I’m miserable about it, I really love fall and, of course, the clothes that go along with it. I love the crisp mornings and the smell of dried leaves, fireworks and squash soups. Love it all. I have taken a break from taking courses – usually at this time I am gearing up for another HR course, but this term I just want to take a break, and not be running around like a madwoman come Christmas to get everything done, while studying for a final. Its fine…and I always get through it and there’s a great sense of accomplishment that goes along with finishing, but this year I just need a break. I have promised myself I will take a course in January so I’m not falling behind.

We are at Deerhurst this weekend – an Ontario resort in Huntsville. It’s really nice, very “Dirty Dancing”. I feel like we should have found out where the “real” party was last night…up the path, over the creek to the “staff” lodgings for a little bump n’ grind. It would have been better than what was going on here. We decided we would watch a movie after dinner. We have 2 double beds and a flat screen in the bedroom and then a regular TV with couch and chair and kitchenette in the other room. Its called a Jr. Suite. Anyway, we got into our own beds (I had requested a king bed but this will do!) to watch “Iron Man” and, of course, the menu wouldn’t work. We called front desk but they said all they could do was re-set it…other than that we’re out of luck. It didn’t work. So knowing the menu worked in the main room we gathered our pillows and blankies and tried to get comfortable in front of a crappy TV that seemed miles away. The people next door had their TV so loud we could barely hear ours. In fact, we couldn’t even figure out where it was coming from it was so loud! Knowing that the noise obviously carries, we felt we had to keep ours down to ensure we didn’t piss off our neighbours like these people were doing. Kids, must have been kids because it was so damn loud it was laughable. Then the people upstairs came home. In, out, in, out, slam, bang, door shut, screen slammed, stomp over to the TV, stomp back from the TV, jump off the bed, run to the door, open door, slam door, turn right back around, come in door, slam door, stomp to fridge… It was a bit of a circus. So with all of this going on, we could barely hear our movie, or see it for that matter. I couldn’t wait for it to be finished so we could just turn our TV off to be sure we weren’t irritating people. I don’t remember my head hitting the pillow. I feel grand this morning – fresh and ready for the day.

So adoption stuff…well the 4 extra books are finished and bound. Blug said we would need copies of the original to send to other agencies/licensees around Ontario. The guy at the printshop called and said they were out of the purple/blue covers, so would I like “light blue”…I said “like a baby blue?” He said yes. Well what do guys know about colour? Nothing, it is the most obnoxious turquoisey sky blue I’ve ever seen. So I went on a mission to “The Papery” to find more appealing covers. After many many minutes torturing myself over what would be best, I settled for a silver card stock…it has textured striping through it – I think it will look good without looking too contrived. Let’s hope anyway. I am quite pleased with The Book, I can only hope it will be the key to finding a really great birthmom.

"The Book"

Sounds like I’m talking about the Bible, but I’m not. I’m referring to our adoption portfolio…the book that will decide our fate…the book that will “sell” us to a prospective birth mother. God I hope it’s ok.

I spent hours upon hours putting The Book together, without really researching what was supposed to go in it. I mean, I had a general idea, but I really did wing it through and through. I like it. If I were a young mother I would connect with this book. I wrote as if I were speaking to her… I made each flip of The Book a new story. There was a quick introduction and a bunch of pictures of Chris and me, and then I went into stories. Short quick detailed stories of this and that…and each page had a theme. “Lisa talks about Chris” and then a story, and a bunch of pictures. “Chris’s favourite memory” where he would describe his adventures at Sanibel Island… The Book is full of pictures...pictures of us, family, holidays, pets, our house, friends. Its visually loaded and I think this will be key. People like to see what they're getting into - and hopefully I provided a really good "glimpse" into our lives.

We definitely lacked in talking about adoption itself and how we are open to the new way in which adoption is going, so I had to make some adjustments - talk more about openness. The fact of the matter is that open adoption is the way adoption is going…so you’d better get on the bus or you’ll be left behind. No one is interested in closed adoption now - it’s considered old fashioned and closed minded. The days of no contact and not knowing who your birthmother was are over. Today it’s all about BBQ’s and picnics and one happy blended family and if you don’t like it – then you’re meant for international adoption where the chances of having future contact are slim to none. We hope to achieve something in between. I have no issues with sending pictures and updates on milestones and achievements – and anyone who knows me knows I’ll totally embrace that AND enjoy it…and hey – it might even turn into something I never thought I could do …but this is not a “shared parenting” arrangement…well enough said on that subject…its difficult to continue without sounding cold or matter-of-fact… Ok I’m gonna try: I like the openness of it all, but within reason, I guess is what I’m getting at. I don’t want moving to another city to be an issue because birth mom won’t be able to make the BBQ, kwim?

But anyway, The Book is done and as I type this being printed in glossy paper with royal blue covers times 4. The 4 “copies” will then be sent to different Lincensees within Ontario. This gets our name out there a little more. There’s a charge to register, of course, but it is very reasonable – approx $300 each agency. That is very doable.

I can’t say that I’m not getting more and more excited about it all. Imagine! We get to bring home a baby!! AND, as many friends have so kindly pointed out, keep my girlish figure.

Stay tuned!

3 Months Later

Well...we are definitely on the home stretch of the adoption homestudy. Chris and I have answered all the questions, passed our police checks, created our birthmother profile, and are probably in for one more sesssion with The Blug to approve the "report". This is the report (I think)that Blugerman will send to the powers that be SHOULD a child be placed in our home. I don't think with Blugerman's stamp of approval and no red flags we would be denied at that point - its just a formality. On approval we would then be able to officially adopt through the courts.

Well that's what I think anyway... I don't really know for sure - just go-in' with the flow at this point!

Am I excited to be at this point? Yes and no. I think we are about to face some really difficult decisions. I can't deny that Chris and I would, of course, given the choice take a healthy baby over a baby that would potentially have developmental issues, whether physical or mental. I think GIVEN A CHOICE, most first time parents would want this for themselves, no?

Well we do...but we'll see.

So I just got back from Kelowna. I was there for 8 days and extended it another 2. It was really nice. I think Chris and I would do well there... there is just so much open space and hardly any traffic. I think Chris needs to get out of this busy city as much as I do. I was excited to see Chris but became more depressed about being home when I stepped into a house that reeked of smoke and was dirty. I can't deny I like a spiffy house and Chris had really not done much in the way of maintenance. Our neighbor smokes like a chimney and since there was no cleaning going on on our side, the smell of smoke had settled into the house. It was cluttered, messy, dirty. Talk about depressing. All day Friday I couldn't wait to get home to start cleaning. I wasn't really INTO cleaning, but knew I would feel so much better with a clean house - more clear in the mind if you know what I mean. I started at 4 and didn't stop until about 9:30 - and I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I like the house again.

Gonna try to keep this up now...but its difficult as the adoption process has such large gaps between visits and we sit in limbo...but will try to keep it up.

Thanks for listening!!