Friday, December 17, 2010


As I write a baby shower card, "enjoy your LAST Christmas before the chaos!" I wonder to myself, could this be MY last Christmas before the chaos? It's strange at this point to project forward to actually picturing a baby in our lives. Is it still possible? Seems IMpossible. Yet here we go, once again. I've always pictured myself with a baby, hell a family, but the stars never seemed to align and year after year, it was just me and Chris, Chris and me. I wonder why I continue to fight this fight. Is it because I'm competitive by nature? Is it because I won't take no for an answer? Is it because I rightfully WANT a family? Is it because I want to prove the universe wrong? Or do I just want a pipsqueak to call my own? I don't really know the answer anymore...all I know is that I want a freakin' pipsqueak.

Beyond words... and so much so I have exhausted all but one option. And so this is it my friends... the last hurrah, if I may be dramatic.

Does anyone read this blog anymore? Well if you do, please send your thoughts in whatever way you wish, for 2011 to be the year that we have a baby to call our own. Please write to this post... send me a little encouragement...I need it.

Happy Holidays to my wonderful family and all of my supportive friends!

12 comments:

Kirsten, Chris, Jacob, Sarah & Evan said...

I'm still reading, and I'm always thinking of you! You know I know it can work....you never think you'll go this far, but you do whatever you have to, to be a family.....I'm right here with you.

ks said...

Still here, still reading, and still cheering you on! This can work and it has! I believe this is it for you and Chris. You will have your family. 2011 is going to be a great year! Stay strong, my warrior friend!

All my best!

athena said...

sending hugs and cheering you on! :)

Anonymous said...

Still reading your (infrequent) posts - wish there were more!
You've got the whole world in your corner baby. Good things will come your way in 2011, but always remember to be happy with what you already have and what you have achieved.
May the waiting be over and the chaos begin!
Love P

Wishin4bb said...

I read it!!! Please don't stop...or give me another way to find you because I'm one of your biggest cheerleaders!! I wish you luck, love and most of all, a pipsqueak to call your own!

Just in case (and so you don't think I'm a stalker) I'm M.T's cousin. We spoke long ago! :)

All the best in pink or blue for 2011!

NO REASON NEEDED said...

Unsure how I ever found this space, though I continue to follow.

Good luck in the new year and a very Merry Christmas!

Kimberly said...

You know I'm here! One of your peachest supporters. I know that this will FINALLY be your year. I hope you enjoy your last Christmas before the crazies hit your household. Love you!

Anonymous said...

I'm always here and thinking of you Auntie Lis! Have a happy and relaxing christmas, talk soon. Love you.

woodland said...

I was JUST looking at the holiday card you and CMac sent (thanks!) and thinking...next year it will be a photo card with the two of you holding a bundle of baby. Foshizzle. I'm feeling it. Crossing everything for you in 2011. Merry Christmas, dollface.
xo ricciardi

leslie said...

here!

sorry..weve been a sickly household, but im always checking on you. i think the fact that kirsten was the very first poster is an indication of things to come. LOVE YOU!!

Terra said...

I'm reading and am so so excited for you. January is right around the corner and this truly could've been your last Christmas before the chaos!! This is really it, I can feel it!
~Terra

Anonymous said...

This is your year....you are in our thoughts, prayers, wishes, more prayers ....whatever it takes...you and Chris will have your "wee" one....one day at a time ..one foot in front of the other ...this will be your year!!